The Last 4 Minutes of the Lost Series! E-mail
Written by Zaphod Sparks   
Tuesday, 08 April 2008

 

Locke, not wearing bunny suit

TVSciFi has obtained the last four minutes of the Lost SERIES finale!

SPOILER ALERT: DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED FOR THE NEXT TWO YEARS! Read it now, before ABC sends us another take-down notice!

There are some pretty strange events in the last scene, taken out of context they don't appear to make much sense. However, I think the major secret of the Island is revealed, and it will blow your mind!

 
              EXT. BEACH IN FRONT OF 4-TOED STATUE - DAY
               Locke, Hurley, Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Sayid, Ben and Sun and
             Jin's ghosts are on the beach in front of a smoldering space
             shuttle. The head of the Statue of Liberty sticks up from the
             sand. It has Claire's face.
               Juliet, now a zombie, is chained to tree, snarling.
               David Lynch walks into frame and pours a can of creamed corn
             onto Hurley's toes and walks away. Hurley seems unfazed by this,
as if it has all happened before.
               ANGLE ON OCEAN
               Rose and Bernard float by, tied to a Christmas tree. They are
             alive, but too exhausted to call for help. A shark jumps over them.
               ANGLE ON LOCKE
               Locke, dressed in a bunny suit screams into a purple sky:
                                   LOCKE 
                         I did every thing you asked of me
                         Island! What more do you want from
                         ME?
                             (Inaudible whispers)
                         Okay. But this is the last thing.
               Locke starts doing the bunny hop dance.

THE WHISPERS
Shannon (left channel): Look, he's actually
doing it!
Boone (right channel): This doesn't make up
for him getting me killed
Ecko (center, backwards): I told you he'd do
it, Charlie owes me a fiver.
Charlie (center forwards): Wanker!
               CLOSE UP ON SAWYER
               Sawyer is reading the "Vagina Monologues" and weeping.
               ANGLE ON KATE, JACK AND BEN
               Kate, t-shirt wet from a recent rain shower, holds Ben's arms
             back as Jack punches him in the stomach repeatedly. Ben
             doesn't seem to really mind that much.
                                        JACK
                         Tell us what the hell is going on!
                                         BEN
                         You can't handle the truth!
                                        LOCKE
                         Tell us! Or I'll stop doing the
                         bunny dance! I swear I will!
                                         BEN
                         Okay, John Locke. Here's your
                         truth. I'm your father! HA, HA, HA!
                                        LOCKE
                             (stops the bunny dance)
                         Noooooooooo!
                             (resumes the bunny dance)
                                         BEN
                         Sawyer, Locke's dad was really YOUR
                         dad!
                                        SAWYER
                         Nooooooo!
                                         BEN
                         Oh and Kate, he was YOUR dad too.
                                        KATE
                         So what?
                             (Looks at Sawyer, his
                              muscles glistening in the
                              tropical sun)
                         Noooooooo!
               Desmond walks out of the jungle, naked. 
                                     DESMOND
                         Have you seen that scientist fella
                         with the skinny tie, brother? He
                         said he could hide me from Penny! I
                         just need a break!
               Everybody shakes their heads. He runs off down the beach and
             everyone turns their attention back to Ben.
                                   HURLEY
                             (screaming)
                         Dude, what are the numbers?
                         Seriously, dude, come'on!
                                   BEN
                         They are the last digits of pi! You
                         are looking into the mind of God!
                                   HURLEY
                         Really? Cool.
                                   BEN
                         Just kidding, they don't mean
                         anything.
                                   HURLEY
                         Nooooooo!
                                   LOCKE
                         What is the smoke monster?
                                   BEN
                         It's whatever you want it to be.
                                   KATE
                         That doesn't even make sense.
                                   BEN
                         When's the last time you made
                         sense, Kate? It's a metaphor!
                                   KATE
                         Like a simile?
                                   BEN
                         No, a simile is when you compare
                         two things with the words "as" or
                         "like", as in "you are as smart as
                         dryer lint!"
               Penny walks out of the jungle.
                                   PENNY
                             (yelling)
                         Desmond! Desmond!
                             (to the others)
                         Have you seen Desmond?
               They point in the direction he went.
                                   PENNY (CONT'D)
                         Thank you.
                             (yelling)
                         I'll never stop looking for you
                         Desmond! Never!
               She walks off down the beach. 
                                   JACK
                         There is no way we have been
                         terrorized for six months by a
                         metaphor! It can't be that simple!
                                   BEN
                         You don't want to know.
                                   SAYID
                         Let me put a grenade up his. . .
                                   BEN
                             (panicked)
                         . . .Okay, okay! All of you need to
                         get a sense of humor.
                                   JACK
                             (screaming)
                         Tell us! NOW!
                             (a blood vessel bursts in
                              his forehead.)
                                   BEN
                         We are all fictional characters,
                         Jack! We were created by failed
                         "Brisco County, Jr" writers high on
                         the fumes of magic markers!
                                   JACK
                         No, it can't be!
                                   BEN
                         They aren't even good writers,
                         Jack. We aren't even multi-
                         dimensional characters capable of
                         growth!
               It starts to rain. Ben lifts his face to the downpour,
             letting it wash away the blood from his latest beating. He
             starts to sing.
                                   BEN (CONT'D)
                             (singing)
                         You all everybody! You all
                         everybody! Acting like all these
                         stupid people wearing expensive
                         clothes.
               Close-up of Jack's eye as his pupil widens to anime-character size.
                                   JACK
                         Noooooooooooo!
               FADE TO BLACK! SOUND OF SOMEONE BLOWING INTO  A COKE BOTTLE,
             THE END.
 
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"I have a dream; a dream that all people — human, Jem'Hadar, Ferengi, Cardassians — will someday stand together in peace… around my Dabo tables."
- Quark
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine