Science Fiction Shows are Back!

A Bionic woman, a caveman, and a time traveler walk into a bar. . .

Hello, scifi fans! I've been busy watching all of the new shows and here's

what I think so far: 

Oh, my god! Great Show!

I’ve seen the first Bionic Woman Show on Nick at Nite or some old-people channel. It was a little too Love Boat/Charlie’s Angels for my tastes. But the new one kicks butt! She has two bionic legs, an arm, an eye and an ear, plus nanobots that make her heal as fast as the Cheerleader from Heroes. (And I think she has a built-in X-Box 360!) Only down side to the show is she’s all “I don’t want to be bionic,” wah, wah. “Don’t kiss by bionic parts,” wah, wah. Cry baby. If I was bionic I would be taking names and doing some big-time bionic clobbering!

Bionic is my new favorite word! Bionic bionic bionic!

The show gets even better when Starbuck shows up as evil Bionic Woman and they have a big bionic show down! But in future episodes I hope they get around to beating up some boys.  It gets an A-

Umm, yeah. Whatever. I’d rather see the lizard from the other insurance commercial get his own sitcom. They should change the tag line to “So easy a sitcom writer could do it.”

Too many sex jokes that I don’t get yet, and really the Flintstones have done all the caveman jokes already. But, I like how they work at Ikea, that’s funny. And the cavemen poke fun at racial stereotyping in a safe, sitcom format, so I give it a C+

Jake 2.0 was cancelled for a reason: a nerdy guy that gets super powers is cool. A nerdy guy who gets super powers and stays a nerd is just stupid (and I’m saying this as a nerd-girl).

Plus, his super power is just remembering stuff in a computer, which isn’t much of a super power. I would hope the CIA would have a backup drive somewhere, or at the very least make him an agent so he doesn’t have to keep working at Best Buy!

The fun part of the show is watching Jane from Firefly flex his muscles and a Buffy-Type super chick that can kill a guy with her hair-pins. You are better off watching the real Jake 2.0 on Ugly Betty and hoping for a Jake 3.0 series. This one gets a C+.

When I was a little girl, I loved reruns of Early Edition and Quantum Leap. This guy too has to help people and set the future right.

He doesn’t know how or why he travels in time, he just does. This is all very confusing to him, which is why I suppose it doesn’t occur to him to warn New York about 9/11 or buy Google Stock.

When he suddenly disappears into the past, and is gone for a few days, his friends and family think he’s on drugs or something and give him an intervention (just like my piano teacher!). I don’t know why the time-travel fairy doesn’t return him to the present just seconds after he left to save him the embarrassment.

Anyway, this show can be a little too emo for me, but it is generally pretty good. (I wonder if Hiro from Heroes will show up and be his time-traveling buddy, that would be cool! But I suppose that would be hard since he never knows “when” he’s going to be so he can’t say, like, “Meet me in 1993” or something.) I give it a B.

If you liked Forever Knight, Angel or Blood Ties, well, you’ll know that this premise has been done to death (hee, hee, get it?) Oh and he hunts demons, you know like Buffy or the boys from Supernatural. And Logan from Veronica Mars is in it playing pretty much Logan if he was a vampire. Nothing new under the sun, I guess.

Okay the vampire is a hottie, so I’ll give it another chance. But he’s real moody and I don’t like that in a boy (or a vampire). I give it a B- (just like my blood type!)

This show is just weird, and I’m not sure if it’s in a good way. Kind of like Dead Like Me (which is a great show I never got to watch much on Showtime because of all the swearing in it!) or Tru Calling, or Raines. And it has the guy who read the Harry Potter books on CD narrating it, so that’s cool. But it tries too hard to be cute and that could get annoying after a few episodes.

Anyway, it’s about a guy who can touch a dead person and bring them back to life. He touches them again and they are dead again. The catch is, if he keeps them alive longer than a minute, someone nearby dies instead. He accidentally discovers this when he brings his girlfriend back to life and the funeral director dies. And now he can never touch his girlfriend again, or she’ll die. (See, lots of cute sexual tension there, but also too many mushy shots of them looking at each other and smiling cutely.)

He uses his power to help a detective question people about their murders, so that part could be interesting. But how many different ways can people react to the news that they were just dead and will be dead again in 50 seconds? If I were them I’d run away before he could touch me again. Anyway, I’ll give it a few more episodes. I give it a B-

Wow, it’s like if my stepbrother got his own show! A slacker who works at the Home Depot becomes a bounty hunter for the devil.

This show is more for boys who think fart jokes are funny, and if that’s what you’re into, you’ll like this show. That’s not a judgment on you, just a statement of fact.

It’s got the slacker guy from Invasion playing a slacker guy, and the creepy guy from Twin Peaks playing a creepy guy who is the devil. The Twin Peaks DVDs I got for my birthday are still giving me nightmares, but this show is strictly for laughs.

And it’s got Candace from Heroes playing the girl that the Reaper has a crush on. (The first Candace, not the new one who’s dead now.) The monster of the week thing got old on Smallville (and even on Buffy) and will get old on this show fast. I hope they can come up with better stories. I give it solid B.

Awesome show!

My mom won’t let me watch this show at her house, because sometimes it has girls kissing girls, and boys kissing boys, and other adult stuff, but my dad’s girlfriend lets me watch it (and my dad says the gay stuff is okay if it’s caused by aliens and not liberal politics).

It’s a spin-off of Doctor Who, but not as silly and lots more alien monsters. Torchwood (anagram of Doctor Who, no really, look at it!*) is a secret organization using recovered alien technologies to protect Earth from aliens.

The show is set in Wales, how many shows can say that! Sometimes you can’t understand what the characters are saying because of their Welsh accents, (BBC America recommends turning on your closed-captioning, which I do if it seems like it’s going to be a particularly Welshey episode) but the lead guy is American and very good looking. Again, just like the Cheerleader on Heroes, he can’t be killed and heals real fast. (From something that happened to him on Doctor Who, but it would take too long to explain here).

Anyway, lots of spooky aliens, mushy love stuff for girly girls and fighting for the boys. Everyone will like this show unless they’re stupid or something. I give it an A+

*Here are other anagrams of Torchwood!

He doesn't really have a show but he should! Look how cute he is!

That's it for now, see you on the internet! I give all the scifi fans an A+

YFF, Cindy