Q: Why do you think the Sci Fi Channel cancelled Stargate SG-1?

A: Stargate? Oh, that rip-off of Star Trek. Well, I’m not sure, but it never was a viable franchise. I mean, how many times can you go through a gate before it gets old?

Q: It was on for ten years.

A: Really? Wow. People must really love James Spader.

Q: So you think the show just burned out?

A: Well, I think it was the fans’ fault. They never really got behind the show.

Q: It always had good ratings for basic cable.

A: I don’t think the fans were up to the intellectual challenge. Wrestling is the number one show on the Sci Fi Channel, for god sakes, how smart do you think that demographic is? They might as well become the NASCAR Channel and get it over with.

Besides, a good sci fi show shouldn’t be full of fun and adventure, it should be slow and thoughtful. It should change the world. It should encourage people to seek out new life and new civilizations and to boldly go where no one has gone before.

Q: In your opinion, is there a science fiction series on today that accomplishes that?

A: I really like Veronica Mars.

Q: Uh, that’s not science fiction.

A: Hello, it’s got MARS in the title. I think that makes it science fiction.

Q: Any other shows?

A: Desperate Housewives.

Q: Why do you think the Scifi Channel decided to keep Stargate: Atlantis, even though its ratings are just as low?

A: Well, spinoff series are always better than the originals. But most likely a studio exec is sleeping with one or more of the cast. That’s why Star Trek: Voyager lasted so long.

Q: What would you have done to save Stargate SG-1?

A: I’d throw out the first 10 seasons — pretend they never happened — and start over. I would get rid of the concept of the gate entirely. I mean, come on, how unbelievable is that? Besides, it gets them too quickly onto an alien planet and into the thick of the action. Where’s the drama? Where’s the long voyages in a cramped ship where the crew can talk about what they are going to do when they get there?

Plus, I’d give it a new theme song with words, maybe something by Rick Springfield. Something like (sings) ‘It’s been a long way across the Milky Wayyyyy, I want your alien love, but I can’t stayyyy.’ Wow, that sends chills up my spine.

Q: Are you working on any new projects?

A: Yes, some very interesting and unique concepts. Star Trek: Firefly, which the Home Shopping Network is very exited about, and Star Trek: Galactica, which will be like Star Trek but only more dark and edgy.

Q: That’s what you said about Star Trek Enterprise.

A: We really mean it this time.

Q: Thank you for the interview, it was very insightful.

A: Yes, yes it was.