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Are Indestructible Cheerleaders A Good Thing? |
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Written by Cindy Schrute
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Friday, 27 October 2006 |
| Scifi Reviews by Cindy 
I’ve been watching the new series Heroes, and think it’s pretty good. Here’s the superheroes on the show, with my superpower ratings: |  | There’s a cute (in a pokemon kind of way) Japanese guy who can mess with time. This would be a great power to have for turning in late homework, staying up past your bed time and going back in time to stop your dad from dating his aroma therapist. Superpower rating: A+ |  | There’s a cop who can read minds. This would be a very cool power to have. I would go on teen Jeopardy and read Alex Trebek’s mind. The down side of this power is that I don’t think I would want to read most boys’ minds. Most of the stuff that comes out of their mouths is gross enough, just think of the stuff they are holding back. So, no thank you to that power. Superpower rating: C+ |  | There’s a political guy who can fly really fast. He hides it from people, because he’s afraid if he tells anyone they would think he is a freak and not vote for him. But the truth is everyone would vote for a guy who could fly. If President Bush could fly, maybe he could fly to Pakistan and get Osama Bin Laden for real this time. People might think he’s cool if he could do that. But I don’t know how useful it would be for me, I can’t lift heavy things, so it would really just get me around faster. I get around pretty good now on my bike and in 4-1/2 years I’ll get my driver’s license. But, I think I would like flying, because I like roller coasters. Superpower rating: A- |  | The flying man’s brother has powers to absorb other superhero’s powers when he’s with them. I guess that means he could marry Rogue from the X-Men and touch her without dying. If she sucked out his powers, he could just suck them back. Ewww, I used suck too many times in that sentence! This would be a cool power if you had a lot of superhero friends. If you don’t, it’s pretty much useless. Superpower rating: B+ |  | There’s a painter who can paint the future. This one is very lame. For one thing the pictures don’t help much. He does comics too, which are more useful because they have a story and words, so I don’t know why he doesn’t do more comics. For another thing he can only see the future when he does drugs, which makes me think maybe it’s the drugs doing it and not a real super power. They should give the drugs to a monkey and see if he can paint the future. Superpower rating: D- |  | There’s an Internet porn star/hooker/serial killer. She only kills bad people trying to kill her, so that should count for something. But if she wasn’t hanging out with bad people in the first place no one would be trying to kill her, so I have to take points off for that. I’m not sure what her power is. She has blackouts, then either goes all Xena-Warrior-Princess on some guy, or she turns super slutty and has sex. I hope the first time I do it, I’m married and remember it the next day. And I hope I don’t wake up with a dead guy in the trunk of my car. Superpower rating: F |  | And finally there is a cheerleader who is indestructible. I know a lot of cheerleaders and I’m not sure if making them indestructible is a good idea. They can be mean and think they are better than everyone else. So if they really were better than everyone else, there would be no living with them. Don’t get me wrong, there are some nice ones and the character on the show seems pretty cool. But why couldn’t the producers have made the yearbook editor indestructible? I’m not saying that just because I happen to be the editor of the yearbook this year, I’m just saying why a cheerleader? She’s already pretty, shouldn’t that be enough of a superpower? It works for supermodels. (Lately there have been supermodels with wings, I don’t think that’s fair either.) Anyway, it is a very cool power to have, since I am always getting stitches from my Jazz-a-Motion recitals and skateboarding down the art museum steps, so Superpower rating: A+ | Until next time, YFF, Cindy
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