Ultimate Lost Spoiler!!

Dear Producers and Writers:

I have just finished watching the box set of your ground-breaking series.  I am disappointed and shocked that so many of the mysteries you put forth have not been answered.

I understand the show is mainly about the characters, a microcosm of humanity, thrust into an unfriendly, mysterious world.  But, hasn’t the Island itself has become a character? What of its character arc?

And what of the Others’ back stories?  If anything some of them are more three-dimensional than our “heroes,” and deserve to have their pasts explored further.

And what of the clearly science fiction tropes you have put forth?  Yes, it was apparent you were bending genres and playing with stereotypes to strip away our very notion of reality, but when you touch upon science fiction elements you enter into an unspoken contract with the audience to at least present theories to explain those mysteries.

Now, I don’t need to know every little detail, such as where they got flour to make banana cream pies (or bananas for that matter, since they are native to South East Asia).  But I beg you, nay I demand, you answer the questions important to character motivation and the plausibility of the world you created!  (Forgive me for using an exclamation point, but I feel this strongly).

These mysteries include, but are not limited to:

1. What did the Island want with Gilligan? Why did it use him to thwart every rescue attempt?
   
   
2. Why didn’t the others try harder to get off the Island? Why couldn’t an experienced sea captain, brave and sure, build a sea-worthy raft?
   
   
3. Why couldn’t the Professor repair a simple hole in a boat, or plug the hole with buoyant coconuts?
   
   
4. When our castaways are given super powers by eating radioactive vegetables, why did the Professor convince the others they were in danger and needed to purge those powers by eating soap? Was he afraid they would use their new found power to get home?
   
   
5. Was there some mysterious force that drew and kept these people together? Were our castaway unable to leave the Island, for example were they dead and in some sort of limbo? Or were they merely characters in the fevered dream of Gilligan? Were the Skipper a man of faith, and the Professor a man of science, locked into an endless battle from which there was no escape, trapping our castaways souls forever?
   
   
6. Why did the Island give Gilligan special powers, including super strength, magnetism, ESP, a radio-receiving tooth and invisibility? He was seemingly the worse person to receive such powers.
   
   
7. Why and how did the Island get its great healing powers? The Skipper took many blows to the head by Gilligan, yet never suffered a fatal concussion.  And surely no one is that clumsy, was Gilligan trying to kill the Skipper?
   
   
8. What force drew dangerous objects to the Island, such as a missile, a jet pack, a space capsule, a killer robot, a satellite, a meteorite, a wish-granting idol and radioactive seeds, just to name a few.
   
   
9. For that matter, they were only packed for a three-hour tour, yet evening gowns, scientific texts and trunks of money seemingly came out of nowhere.
   
   
10. How did animals not native to the Island, a gorilla, a giant spider and a chimpanzee appear and threaten the lives of our castaways, these are animals all native to Africa and yet found their way to an Island in the South Pacific.*
    

    *Okay they may have come from the circus ship like the man-eating lion, but may I remind you that the gorilla and chimp showed up before the circus ship, this would imply some sort of time warp. The time accelerating meteor would not show up on the Island until season 3 and even then it was destroyed by Gilligan. But if  the Island doesn’t have some soft of time warping properties, what would explain the age of the WWII  Japanese soldier, Wrong Way Feldman’s biplane and the Jungle Boy/Ape Man paradox, (see number 13)?

11. What force on the Island caused Gilligan and the others to have strange prophetic dreams. (i.e. Gilligan as a sheriff, vampire and cannibal.) Does Gilligan’s subconscious somehow control the Island?
    
    
12. How was it possible that Gilligan, Ginger and Mr. Howell all had evil twins? This has to be more than a coincidence.
    
    
13. Who was the jungle boy’s mother? I’m assuming that his father was the Ape Man introduced in season 3 (a popular fan theory, that has never been explicitly denied by you, is that they are in fact the same person from different points in time).
    
    
14. And, most importantly what of the Others? What drew —Wrong Way Feldman, a South American dictator, a spy, a witch doctor, a WWII Japanese soldier, a Beatles cover band, a gangster, a famous painter, Russian cosmonauts, Zsa Zsa Gabor, a surfer dude, a Hollywood producer, a butterfly collector and, not one but two, mad scientists—to the Island?
    
    Many of these Others seemed friendly, offering our castaways a chance to be rescued, only to have that hope dashed every time. Was this merely the cruelty of the Others, or did they have some greater collective purpose? Were they after the gold, buried treasure, magic idol or ancient tablet Gilligan discovered?
    
    

Imagine my consternation when I reached the end of the series to find none of these questions answered. But imagine my joy when I discovered the 1973 movie “Rescue from Gilligan’s Island.”

Alas, my hopes were dashed again as you failed to take advantage of the second chance you were given.

I was glad to see them rescued, however, not only didn’t you answer a single question, it was like you had forgotten all previous story lines!  Ginger and Mr. Howell had impostors living their lives on the mainland, yet this was never mentioned. (I can assume the castaway were in a parallel time line, or in some sort of afterlife purgatory, but this was never established in the backstory).

And worst of all, the love parallelogram between Mary Ann, Gilligan, Ginger and the Professor was never addressed!

And with every single important question left unanswered our castaway find themselves back on the Island with even more unanswered mysteries. Shame on you Mr. Sherwood Schwartz. Shame on you. And shame on me for holding out hope.

And while the two sequels “The Castaways of Gilligan’s Island,” and “The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan’s Island,” did attempt to answer some of these mysteries, they were woefully incomplete once again.

Are we supposed to believe, as is it was put forth in the Globetrotters movie, a vein of Supremium, a valuable but volatile element, is to blame for all the strange events? I find this ludicrous.  Like the midichlorians explanation for the Force in Star Wars this just ruins the magic of the Island.

Not even the Harlem Globetrotters fighting evil robots, or Oscar-winner Martin Landau could save this terrible final chapter.

Now I hear, Mr. Schwartz, you are doing a big budget movie reboot. I only hope we loyal fans will finally get some answers and are rescued from your Island of unfulfilled mysteries.

Sincerely,

A Fan.